Is Buttface a Swear?

Wednesday…the hardest day of the week- TRASH DAY! Not only do we need to get lunches, pack snacks, make breakfast and feed animals, we also need to get buckets and buckets of trash to the road!  On top of everything else, I need to be at a Wednesday meeting by 8:45. So, Wednesday mornings are quick breakfast day. Today… Toaster Strudels.  TJ awakes, mostly because he smells the toaster strudels, his favorite. As he is getting ready for school, he tells me he needs a “special lunch” because he has a field trip today.  Really?!  I manage to dig through the refrigerator to find something to put in his lunch pack that he will actually eat.  He will be eating frozen bite sized pizza, a pudding pack and snack crackers.  Zacory awakes and assumes the usual position of playing a quick video game. He REALLY needs to check his dragons or build another strucure in some crafting game; all while eating his Toaster Strudel.  Liam, the 4 year old, finally awakes.  He actually slept in a little today!  I was even able to get dressed early!  He takes his toaster strudel in to watch Zacory play his game.  Liam then realizes that he needs to use the bathroom. Upon returning to the Livingroom, I hear the scream of “You stole my Toaster Strudel!”  Zacory clearly looks upset, painstakingly telling me that it was not him that took Liam’s breakfast.  Thinking that he is fibbing… I try to get him to tell me the truth.  I then notice the dog, licking her chops…hmmm.. now I know who really took it.  I make Liam another Toaster Strudel. TJ’s bus is almost here. Liam, noticing that I have on a dress and nylons, tells me that he likes my legs.  He has decided not to wear what I gave him for clothes.  He wants to wear nylons too.  Thus begins the big debate between TJ and Liam that “boys do not wear nylons!”  By this time Zacory is getting dressed.  He has decided that, because he has baseball tonight, he is going to wear gym shorts over his pants.  Oh, and he really doesn’t like the shirt I handed him. He picks another shirt and wears his gym shorts over his pants.  Again..pick your battles.  As he is getting dressed, he asks “why do girls wear bras?”… Hmmm. I think for a minute…. how do I explain this to an almost six year old… I end up just looking at him and saying “to make sure their boobies don’t bounce around”.  He chuckled… but excepted that explanation.  I turn to Liam who is jumping around the livingroom, not getting dressed.  I ask him what he is doing “I’m dancing to the music in my head!”.  I tell him “that’s nice, but please get dressed”.  I leave them to brush my teeth and get the rest of the trash to the road.  It had not been five minutes when I hear.. “Grammy Debbie!!!  Is buttface a swear?!?”  Liam just called me a buttface!!!  Liam then explains that it is NOT a swear… only a potty word! I remind them that it is still not a nice word.  It’s time to wait for Zacory’s bus.  Liam decides that he is going to chain the dog for me. Very helpful!  He comes back to the end of the driveway and lets me know that he did not even get dog poop on his shoes.  Wonderful!  Zacory boards his bus and is off with the kisses, hugs and the final wave from the window.  I think I might even make it to my meeting on time!  Driving to pre-school today, Liam informs me that cemetary’s are where God has “planted” dead people.  Good to know!  I hope you make the most of every day!  And, please don’t call anyone a “buttface”!  Be nice!

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